Residency has been all consuming. I am doing my best to keep my head above water with long hours. But the past 7 months have been some of the most incredible in my life. I have brought so many lives into this world. I truly feel like a doctor. But my life has become pretty one dimensional. My biggest motivator is sleep and pretty much nothing can motivate me to get out of bed or give up a moment of sleep when I finally make it to my bed - no friend, no food, no adventure is more important than sleep. My lowest moment this year was a cold, dark morning driving to the hospital, when I seriously was jealous of a homeless person I saw sleeping on the street. I think I may have genuinely considered stopping my car and getting out and laying on the ground next to him. I was that tired. Like I said. Low moment. Despite the intensity of my life there are many incredible moments. I get to be a part of making new families. I get to hold babies first. I get to announce on the rare occasion when the gender is a surprise if the new families life will be filled with blue or pink. My job is incredible and I am so lucky to be a part of such a special time in my patients lives. While I cannot promise to write often I will try to be a bit better about updating and finding time for some balance in my life.
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