The Last Class

Next week I start my very last rotation of medical school and probably my last class ever as a formal student. I have been in school for what feels like my whole life. I started pre-school at age 3 and had one year between earning my MPH and starting medical school where I worked a normal full time job so I have been in school for 25 years of my life. Now I know that learning is life long and I will forever have board recertification and continuing medical education courses as a part of my job but never again will I be a full time student. And while the thought of finally being free is incredible, I have very much honed my skills as a professional student. Hand me some highlighters and a text book and I could outline the heck out of it. Give me a spreadsheet to memorize and I could probably do it in one day. Tell me to give a presentation on some trivial medical topic, no problem, I can do it at while working an overnight shift and present it at rounds the next morning. In my 25 years as a student, I have learned books and books of material, been pushed to be a better person, a stronger thinker and taught to build more robust arguments. I have also learned that in the end very little of the details matter, that knowing how to analyze information, to synthesize arguments and to evaluate the quality of research is really the meat of knowledge. I have also learned that there is very rarely only one answer and that the experts often disagree.

Kevin and I were walking by the Library of Congress the other night, among the very first pop of cherry blossoms, and I had a slight feeling of loss knowing that I will probably never again have to camp out at a library for months at a time. I am ready for a new chapter in my life and even more ready for a pay check again, but a part of me is sad at the finality of it never being a student again and the idea that now I am the "expert." I will probably still carry around a highlighter in my pocket and might try to color coordinate my lecture notes for the medical students I will soon teach.